Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Silvia's Advice: Putting bad friends behind you/ life story.

Hello my lovely bumble bees,

So im actually posting a blog super early because of my own selfish reason...Glee hehe well on a serious note i desided not to write a blog about relationships and sex and all that important stuff I am privetly explaining the situation with the reader for the simple fact that I dont feel comfortable explaining it to the hundreds that read my blog. Maybe one day down the line but not this month. So im just going answer small questions about it.

Subject: Putting bad friends behind.
Question: How do you seperate from bad friends without hurting them or making them think your stuck up? I don't want them to hate me but I dont want to hang around them.

This subject hits home so close so sharing my experiance will hopefully help many.
Through out your years in school you will witness different groups of kids, the smart kids, the not so smart kids (who are the rebelious bad kids), the quiet kids, and the kids that just talk way too much. I was always the kid who was quiet but yet smart and if I got in trouble it's because I was talking to my friend. As 1st grade turns into 4th grade and 4th grade turns into middle school Kids go through stages the bad kids become good kids and the quiet kids sometimes become the bad kids you never know. I found that my friends from middle school started changing when we were in 8th grade. we were the big hancho's now of the school. I was sadly a follower I wanted to be with my friends I did all partying rebelious style.

One day I looked into the mirror I seen a face and said "look at that stupid girl I never want to be that girl. look at her with her blood shot eyes, smeared eye liner, chipped tooth, and look at that hair she's a mess" when I opened my eyes a little wider I noticed it was me, I became the girl I said I never wanted to be. I cleaned my face and the next day I made some major changes in my life. I did not want to be a disappointment to my parents, I refused to be a failer. So my 8th grade year I still talked to my friends but hung out with them less than I usually did. I started reconnecting with the friends that I left behind when I got close to my other "friends". One friend I remained close with and we both tried to work our way away from all the bad stuff. We even started seeing the school psycologist.

So what im saying from this little flashback is there are steps to slowly seperating yourself from friends without making a big mess.

Step one: notice whats going on around you, tell yourself you need to seperate and tell yourself why. Why do I need to leave this friend behind? what will happen if we remain friends?

Step two: slowly seperate yourself from the other friend or friends. Hang out with them here and there. ocasionally answer their phone calls and call them to see how they are.

Step three: notice the improvement.
Show yourself the good benefit's of not being around the bad crowd.

I started noticing how good it feels when they would get in trouble and I didn't. Rarely did it happen but when it did I was happy to know that I was truly not guilty.

When high school came around it was really easy for me to seperate from the friends i no longer wished to be around. I kept the good ones close and let the bad ones float about their life. Some went to new schools and others just found different crowds to hang out with.

Step four: Start new.
When you finally have a nice seperation from your old friends start making new ones, never be afraid to make new friends. Before you know it your on your own kid.

I started making new friends and had a life of my own I met some really good friends and I'm proud to say that my two best friends I met in high school.

Step five: Give your old friends some acknowledgment.
Even though your not close friends with that person anymore still tell them hi every now and then. If you dont acknowledge them, that's when you look like you are stuck up.

Im still friends with all those people just distant friends and I met a lot of new friends and they all taught me many lessons in life.

Friends will come and go but the good ones will stay by you forever.

I hope my life story and lesson learned steps help you with your near future friend situations you will go through them, everyone does.

I love you all.

<3 Silvia