Thursday, September 16, 2010

Silvia's Advice: Friends and their Relationships.

Hello my love birds,

Subject: Friends and their relationships.
Question: My friend is in a relationship and I feel like they think i'm trying to steal him/her from them what do I do?

I have come across SOOO many conflicts with my friends relationship it is kind of sickening. 97% of the time it was my guy friends and their girlfriend, their girlfriends would not like me hanging around at all! It's not like I would be flirting with them because I seen all my guy friends as big brothers cause if I ever had a problem I would call them up and be like hey so and so is trying mess with me and so on you get the point I hope. So I have had at least 5 girlfriends come up to me and say "what is your connection with *Alex?" I would simply say he's my best friend, then they would send their friends to spy and do background checks on me like we were in a episode of Csi. It gets really tiring!

So after so many years of dealing with high school girl jealousy I have learned to do the following:

1.) Spend less time with the friend. As much as this idea sucks Popsicle sticks! it truly does help the whole situation. If you are not crowding your friend while they are in this new fresh relationship they have time to get to know each other and he or she will introduce their friends slowly and their partner will feel at ease when they start hanging out with them and getting to know them. This way the partner wont suddenly feel threatened by anyone hanging out with their new beau.

2.) Introduce yourself right away as *Jesse/Jessica's best friend of so many years. Come right out and tell her you have been friends with *Jesse/Jessica since your were in diapers, slowly tell her what kind of friendship you have with him/her. Then you can tell her how you look forward to seeing him/her around more often. Become friends with the partner it helps I promise!

3.) Well what if I don't like the partner? We have all come across these kind of situations were we just don't like the choice our friend has made in partners. You just have to breath in and breath out. Putting yourself in the middle will only hurt your friendship with your friend. That friend will despise you and think you don't want them to be happy. Sometimes a simple sit down talk will help, if you can't express your feelings write a letter and give it to them in person. NEVER I repeat NEVER send a letter filled with your heart and soul over the internet! It just leads to blackmail! Write the letter give it to them and ask for the letter back, it's only protecting you from them using it as a reference. If talking isn't your style go back to number one and just keep your distance for awhile.

Getting involved with a friends relationship;

When your friend is in a relationship and always has you around and asking your advice about different things. Remember the number one thing when a friend is asking for advice and pretty much puts you in the middle they will keep asking the question until they hear the answer they want to hear. Love truly does blind a person they do not want to hear negative things and you have to be patient for them to really understand the advice you are trying to give them. Sometimes you have to let them get hurt to snap out of it. We all don't want our friends to get hurt but getting hurt is the heartbreaking lesson that sticks to us the most and helps make better choices the next time.

I don't want to go too into this subject being that i'm suppose to talk about it in a few weeks. I might write two blogs this weekend 1 on some new Mary Kay products i just got yesterday and another of well its a surprise.

Love you all more than you know.

<3 Silvia